Too far away..

I spent last night eating ice-cream on the beach with one of the sweetest and most caring men I have ever had the pleasure of being with. And yet, I couldn't feel anything. I knew I was happy, I knew I wanted to be nowhere else but I could not feel happiness. I couldn't feel the warmth of his embrace or be content in his presence. Not last night. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, protected from the outside world; I feel nothing. I'm miles away and the warmth of happiness's glow does not touch me nor does sadness chill my bones. I want to feel again. I want to feel pain and sorrow and happiness and love. I am going to get myself taken off this anxiety medication. I want to feel it all again. I want to feel it with him. I know that.